Navigating a divorce or separation is one of the most stressful experiences you’ll ever go through. With emotions raw and huge life changes on the horizon – perhaps even changes that you didn’t anticipate or don’t want to undertake – it may seem that conflict is inevitable. There’s a huge amount to discuss and usually, the thorny issue of shared assets and finances to split. Add children into the mix and it can feel like a recipe for animosity and disagreement.

That doesn’t have to be your reality, however. There are various forms of Non-Court Dispute Resolution available, including Mediation and Collaborative practice.  These offer a forum for discussions with your partner, with or without lawyers being involved,  with a  view to achieving a solution that works for you and your family.

What is mediation?

Mediation is a voluntary, non-binding and confidential process which facilitates and assists discussion with a view to reaching an agreement on key issues.

The mediator’s role is to act as an impartial intermediary. They will try and help you to work through the options available to you and your family in respect of both financial and practical arrangementsBecause they’re a neutral presence, they can also help to diffuse any tension or ill feelings which may be lingering in the aftermath of your separation.

There are various different types of Mediation;

1.         Traditional mediation either face to face or remotely;

2.         Shuttle mediation where you and your partner remain physically separate;

3.         Hybrid mediation, often involving lawyers;

4.         Child inclusive mediation where the child (10 and above) can be invited to share their thoughts confidentially with the mediator if they wish.

What can a mediator help with during the divorce process?

A mediator is there to help you resolve disagreements as you navigate the divorce or separation process. Typically, this could mean helping you to reach an agreement on who remains in the family home, where the children live, how much time each parent will spend with them and how finances will be resolved.

Who can benefit from mediation?

Anyone going through a separation and unable to reach an agreement with their spouse or former partner regarding core issues like child arrangements or splitting shared property can benefit from mediation.

If you and your ex find it hard to communicate without emotions running high, mediation can also be extremely beneficial in limiting arguments and disagreements. The mediator’s presence can help to calm flared tempers and ensure that discussions remain respectful, even if you disagree on what is fair or acceptable when it comes to money or the amount of time each person gets with any minor children.

When should you seek mediation?

You should seek mediation as soon as possible when it becomes clear that you’re not able to reach an agreement between yourselves. If you do go to court, you’ll usually be required to attend a mediation information and assessment meeting (MIAM) first. This isn’t mediation but provides more information about the benefits of the service.

Keep in mind that you can’t compel your spouse to attend mediation. And, if you’re a victim of domestic abuse or domestic violence, you won’t be required to attend mediation ahead of going to court.

Our family law solicitors understand that navigating a divorce and separating your lives in the aftermath of a separation can be extremely stressful. We’re here to help you through the process and can provide you with practical assistance throughout. We can also help after the mediation process is successfully completed by drawing up legal documents to formalise the agreements made with your former partner. Contact us to find out more.